Esther Loyola Lopez

My Mom, Esther,

My dad said to me, "Esther's life story was all about making others happy and making them feel good about themselves."

My mom, Esther Loyola Pacheco, was born on April 20, 1938 in  El Quique, New Mexico.  She was the 3rd of eight children.  Esther shared wonderful stories of growing up in a happy home which  was filled with the love of seven siblings and parents who she  adored.  Her parents were Leopoldo and Hipolita Pacheco (Leo died in Los Alamos in an accident in 1959 at the age of 50 and Hipolita died on Ash Wednesday in Las Cruces at the age of 88).  Esther grew up in a home filled with love and respect and she was truly the kindest person I have ever known.  In her family Fabiola was the oldest, next was Melva, then Esther, Henry was the only boy in a house with 7 sisters, next came Angie, then Lucille, then Carol and last but certainly not least was Marcella.  My mom loved to tell stories of life growing up with 7 siblings who all looked out for one another and as you watch them interact as adults it is very apparent how much they enjoy each other.  My mom raised her own family in the same way, she taught us to love and respect each other and to look out for each other.  Thank you mom for a truly wonderful childhood.  Thank you for the friendships you encouraged between me and my brothers and their truly wonderful families.

My mom was very fortunate to have grown up in one of the most beautiful places in New Mexico, El Quique.  She attended grade school in San Juan from 1943 to 1954.  As a young girl she liked to go down to the railroad and watch the trains, she liked to play with frogs in the drainage canals and she really liked to play with her cousins in the apple orchards.  One of my mom's fondest memories of her childhood was the trips her family took to Santa Fe.  They went to Santa Fe to shop and they always stopped along the Nambe River in Nambe for a picnic - she loved those picnics.  She attended Espanola High School in 1954 and this is where she met my dad, Joseph Lopez, who she later married.  After graduation, she spent the summer of 1957 hanging out with her cousins in Topeka, Kansas. Esther started X-ray training in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1958 and then worked in Embudo Hospital as an X-ray technician.

Esther and Joseph were married by the Justice of the Peace on June 15, 1962 in Albuquerque.  They were married again on October 13, 1962 in San Juan by Father Burns in the Catholic Church  The ceremony was followed by a reception at the church hall.  Many friends and family provided traditional Northern New Mexican food - posole, chili, and enchiladas. They moved to San Diego, California in 1962 where my dad worked the Naval Air Station and later at the Air Force Contract Administration.  Their first child, Christopher, was born at Grossmont Hospital in September of 1963.  They moved to Los Angeles and I was born in August of 1964. Then came my little brother, David, in November of 1966.

Esther loved being a mom and raising a family.  In fact, she loved babies and loved children   She loved animals.  She loved the outdoors, hiking, camping, collecting things in nature.  She collected beautiful and interesting pieces of drift wood.  She really loved collecting rocks both big and small but especially those shaped like a heart.  She was great with a camera and did a super job capturing her family's adventures in photographs.  She loved flowers, cactus, and all the beautiful things she had planted in her garden.  I remember she loved to go to the beach and we had such fun times.  She was fast to make new friends.  She loved to entertain and make people smile and laugh.

We moved to Santa Fe in 1970.  She made so many friends there.  She was involved in the community where she helped feed less fortunate families during the holidays.  She supported my brothers and I, our friendships and all of our interests.  I myself liked to dance and belonged to a group called Ballet de Santa Fe.  We danced Latin Folkdance wearing the most beautiful and colorful dresses.  The dresses had many layers and of course my mom sewed mine for me. She also sewed for many of the other dancers.  She was a very talented seamstress.  She was a great friend and she was fun in so many ways.  She helped us catch lizards, snakes and horned toads then release them back to their reptile families.  She liked to have family pets around and when we lived in Santa Fe we had two great dogs, Nikki and Shaggy and she loved those dogs.  Later she had a Welsh Corgi named Petey who she was very attached to.  Her last dog and good friend was Armani.  She liked to go camping and cut firewood. We spent much of our childhood visiting family throughout New Mexico because it was important to her.

We moved to Albuquerque in 1974 where she turned our new house into a home.  Guests were always welcome and anyone that came over was fed.  My mom was such a great cook.  She could turn almost anything she pulled out of the fridge/pantry into the most delicious of meals and no one ever left the table hungry.  My friends always loved to come over and hang out with my family.  She was always there to support us with problems large and small.  She always had a positive outlook and encouraging words of advice and support.  I truly had the best mom ever.  I think she kept every gift anyone ever gave her and displayed it proudly in her home.  Something that was very important to her was supporting different children's charities with donations, she was very proud to help and it was very important to her.  She had many friends who were very dear to her.  She talked often of her friends old and new and really appreciated the time she was able to spend with them.

My brothers and I were so very lucky to have a mom who sacrificed her dreams to be a stay at home mom.  She was there for us all day, every day and I am so grateful for that.  She always prepared breakfast, a sack lunch for school, snacks after school and a delicious dinner - we were truly blessed and of course well fed.  I do remember her working a couple part time jobs.  She  worked from home selling Sarah Coventry jewelry.  She worked at Pioneer Wear.  She worked at St. Francis Animal Clinic.  The clinic was a job that she absolutely enjoyed, she loved animals.

Her last job, well, she would never call it a job but rather a labor of love, a privilege and an honor was where she  cared for Yaya (Josefina) Burguete until her passing in September of 1990.  Yaya became both friend and family.  Yaya and her family adopted my mom into their family and she loved them with all her heart.

She was the best at being a mom, but she was also a good friend.  She was always there for me and always supported the choices I made.  She adored the charming boy I met in high school who is now my amazing and wonderful husband, Jeff.  Next, she was a grandma and I think this was the role in life that she was born to play.  She really is the best grandma ever.  She has a total of 10 grandchildren/great-grandchildren who love her dearly and they always took every opportunity to spend time with her and with their Grampa Joe.  She loved taking care of her grandkids while their parents were at work.

My mom was so proud of all three of her kids. Chris married a wonderful person, Melissa.  Chris and Melissa have two amazing and talented kids, Vincent and Elise.  I married Jeff and we have two wonderful children who we are so very proud of - Bryce who has a brilliant and beautiful wife named Vicky - they have the most adorable and clever son named Felix.  Our daughter, Jordan, married the very smart, handsome and kind Tim Yuhas.  They have three very cute, very active, and always entertaining children Owen, Oliver and Charleigh.  David is married to a beautiful person, inside and out, Kyria and they are raising two truly impressive kiddos - the beautiful, talented and kind Sophia and Sebastian who is who is truly a joy to spend time with.  Also, dear to my mom's heart is Sophia's mom, Susan .  Susan has a super big heart and she is always there to help in so many ways.

The story of Esther is a story of an amazing person, daughter, sister, cousin, mom, friend, wife and grandma. I love to tell her story and I love to hear it as well.  I always welcome stories and conversations about my mom.  I learn new things about her all the time and it is heartwarming.  I am thankful to all of her family and friends as they were such an important part of her life and helped make her a happy person and made her life complete.  She got so much joy out of life, out of being with those she loved, sharing stories, meals, laughs and cries.  I would like to share one of my last conversations with my mom.  She made me cry and then I had to laugh.  My mom said to me, "Mi Hijita, I'm sorry if I ever spanked you." I had to smile at her and say "Awhhhh . . . sweetie, you never spanked me, you must be thinking of that naughty David that you had to chase down the hall with a broom." This is a true story and, I was cheering for my mom.  David was lucky he got to his room and shut the door before she caught him.  He knew she was going to shake her finger at him until he apologized for being a wise guy.  It truly warms my heart and always made me smile to witness the interaction between David and my mom.  They had a special bond and he always made her smile .

I asked her sister Angie, "What was it like to have Esther as a sister?", this is what she shared:
"Growing up in a large family was fun and trying. For Esther and I, trying not to show up at school in each other's clothes was for sure a challenge. The family tradition was we were all "chaperoned" by the next oldest.  Therefore, I got to go on most dates with Esther and Joseph.  Dad's way of keeping his girls "safe", after all, there were 7 girls."
Esther was the more serious and sensible one.  She was also the one entrusted with the family car.  She drove us to high school.  When we could talk Mom into lending us the station wagon, we would pick up some friends and leave campus to have lunch at a drive-in.  Sound like fun?  Maybe not so much nowadays, but it was!!!"
"After graduation, she moved to Santa Fe to attend radiology school which left me "in charge", OH NO!!!  When she came home on weekends, she had to ask ME for a ride. Then came marrying time. We somehow planned our weddings for the same weekend, but our mom couldn't be in San Juan and Las Cruces at the same time so Esther beat me to the alter."
A very special time for Esther and myself was chili roasting time.  We roasted five plus bags at a time. Before commercial roasting was available, we picked and roasted it ourselves.  For some reason, we looked forward every year, to the same torture. Thanksgiving was always in Las Cruces - more fun and family time.  X-mas was most likely at the Lopez's.  Not only a great time for the kids and grownups but it also meant we would enjoy her famous pastelitos amongst many other delicious foods. Esther was a great cook. Her creativeness was matched by no one in the family. She will be missed immensely."

I also asked Marcella to share a childhood memory of Esther who was 13 years older than she was.
Marcella remembers when her sister, Esther, was living and working in Kansas.  She recalls, "stamps were 3 whole cents back then. But, despite the high cost of postage, Marcella would write Esther letters asking for things she wanted Esther to buy for her.  She remembers Esther would buy her colorful petticoats."

On August 17, 2021, after an evening being surrounded by family and friends, in a room filled with love, my mom closed her eyes and peacefully passed away.  Now she is with her Lord who she loved with all her heart, she is one of Heaven's Angels.  I was so blessed to spend the entire afternoon with her.  I read the book "Tuesday's with Morrie", I read all the prayers in her notebook and sang to her.  Even though I was a thousand miles away I was still with her.

My sweet Aunt Lydia sent me a card.  She wrote  "Esther, your precious mom, gained her Angel wings a long time ago."  This is so true and I have always thought of her as an angel always watching over those she loved.

I miss my mom every minute of every day. I see her when I look at my kids, I see her in the way I do things, in the way I think and act and love.  I want to be like her and be a kind and caring person - I will try every day to make her proud.

She had a notebook where she wrote down prayers.  She took out this notebook and  she read this to me.  She labeled  this one "My Favorite"

If we could have but one wish
A wish that would come true
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and you
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know this because we have tried
And neither will a million tears
We know because we have cried
You left behind our broken hearts
And many memories too
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted you

If tears could build a staircase
And hearts could build a lane
I would walk the way to Heaven
To bring you back again
Friends may think I've forgotten
When at times they see me smile
Little do they know the heartaches
My smiles hid all the while

Always on my mind and forever in my heart

You may have noticed that writing is not my strong suit.  This never mattered to my mom, she always appreciated a letter, a card and any art work she received.  My mom loved to write, loved to send cards, loved to color and loved to draw.

I would like to thank all her family and friends.  I am so impressed and so grateful for all the love and support you have given to my mom.  You were there for her always, a comfort to her whether it was in person on the phone, it made her the happiest person ever.  She loved you and I can see why - you are amazing.  Thank you.  From all of her family - THANK YOU.